Solo seré libre cuando mis padres mueran


I’m afraid of dying

not having experienced love

I’ve had a couple crushes

none of them answered

all my friends having these boyfriends

if not, at least lots of sex

I’m not having any of that, and I worry…

Regarding sex, I might be the problem

if my tastes were more grounded…

But love, you can’t look for it on your phone

I might be a bit traditional in that sense

I don’t want to keep being alone, I’m afraid

just as I’ve been for the past years

I don’t know, these looked like better years

to be gay

in case that’s the problem…

would it be the same if I was straight?

my father is, and he wasn’t lucky

with women. Not lucky in general…

Cause’ if I die now,

it’s sad that my dreams die with me

but it would be ok

cause’ I’ve laughed, I’ve danced

I’ve done shit with friends, good times

I’ve travelled, watched movies all day

I tried my best, and I’ve cried

I’ve felt enough, I feel like more days

would just be the same

so I don’t mind saying goodbye

but please, not before I love someone

and that someone loves me.

To die before, that would be a fucking mess

cause that would really feel

like a waste of time and flesh


I’ll only be free when my parents die

lately I’ve been thinking about this a lot

not because I want my parents to die

but because it is the only way I’d stop

feeling judged, or like I owe something

if my parents died, I’d be free

the world to be walked, just the way I’d want

not feeling sorry, for ending up as a failure

if that’s the ending written for me

no more prisons of duty

no more forced relations to labor

only the person who’s me

dying the way I’d want as I live

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